Twas the night before Year 10 IT class and all through the house,
All the teachers* were starting to whine and to grouse.
“It’s spreadsheets”, I grumbled – I taught them with care
But the knowledge and recall, it just isn’t there!
The students were nestled all snug in their beds,
While functions and spreadsheets danced round in my head.
I’d been on to Twitter and I’d had a good natter,
So I started to realise just what was the matter –
The students were bored with just adding up cash!
So booting up Windows, I flew like a flash!
I got up so early, twas barely a nap,
I’d had an idea – they all watch this (programme)!
Making my tasks, ideas started to flow,
Using “I’m a Celebrity” all’d want to know!
I thought my old tasks were so thoughtful and clear,
But the Bushtucker trials made them swallow the fear.
Complete the green boxes and you’ll get a star,
They all got so focused they got really far.
More rapid than eagles the answers they came,
And they all used the functions, and called them by name:
“Now, AVERAGE()! now, ROUNDUP() ! now LOOKUP() and MIN()!
On, IF(), MAX(), RANK(), COUNTIF()” They wouldn’t give in!
Some looking at helpsheets, some winning with stealth,
And I couldn’t help smiling, in spite of myself;
For a class that had started off saying they’re beat
I just couldn’t stop them all trying to compete.
I put them in pairs and they went straight to work,
They filled all the cells, then they turned with a jerk,
As the bell then went off for the end of the lesson,
They all wanted to know just which team was the best one;
For my box of mint Matchmakers they were all yearning,
But the best prize of all was the fantastic learning.
And I heard them exclaim, as they walked out of sight—
“Excel’s not that bad” “Yeah, I think it’s alright.”
* Technically that’s just me.